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I inhale and I can still smell you on my lips
Is this a dream?
The scent lingers and triggers  memories of laughter
Memories of healing
Experiences of elaborate ectasy
Your face flashes through my mind like it's going out of style
Let me rewind
Let's go back to the beginning when I was too shy to shine a spotlight your way
I watched you as you stood in the center of the afternoon sunlight
Whispering to myself I asked GOD to ease my heart as it drummed through my chest
My pulse raced and I arranged my feelings into formation
I kept my ray bans on to hide my admiration
That afternoon, we talked topics ranging from African apartheid to ratchet reality TV
I clung to your every word like a caterpillar afraid to shed from the cocoon
Is this a dream?
Fast forward to the time you let me take a tour of your scars
I traced them with my thumb like I was looking for directions on an MTA map
Carefully, I listened as you took off your cool to introduce me to your insecurities
Let's pause on the part where you got teary eyed as you stumbled to say
I love you
Is this a dream?
Yo! I'm sorry I'm late
I'm sorry that I initially allowed you to push me away
Instead I should have held you
& reminded you that you are the last slither of air that I need before I drown
As a matter of fact, I did drown
In your eyes
As corny as it sounds, I value your verbal intimacy
Is this a dream?
I was never looking for love
You provided me with loyalty
I never needed to second guess your word
You trusted me with your heart
I looked for respect
& you adjusted my crown
I got on my knees & cried out

GOD!
I'm terrified to let this guard down, I need you to show up and if this is your will you build a foundation that neither of us can ignore
Immediately, before I can seal it with an amen, you text me
Telling me that you want to start over
You told me that your heart won't let you let go this easily
Now
Let's press play
As we keep the pace & allow our love story to be written organically
Here's my hand, this time you lead.

YOU.

                                                                                                                                               

I have a crush on our potential

I’m smitten by our possibility

Everyday I literally trip on how happy we could be

There are hunger pains in my belly that crave your unavailability

The fact that your love is injected in small doses

Gives me an opportunity to ignore

My pain

My brokenness

& it refills my shattered spirit just enough for me to function

You are the place that my mind travels to as it wanders

The destination that it reaches when I need a break from my rough reality

You’re the last breath that I let escape before I drown

This love is stronger than just me wanting you around

More than I could have even anticipated

I pray for you harder than I have ever prayed for myself

This is getting expensive

For how much longer can you penny, nickel or dime your worth?

3 month flirty flings and temporarily serious situationships don’t quench my thirst

I’m a lover

A fighter

An investor

I get attached to the cracks in your character & cover them like a scar until they heal

Give me a few shots of you

Straight with no chaser

Let your juices moisten my palate

& Dance on my tongue

There’s nothing that I want from you, but you

Your Russell Stover chocolate complexion

Your cabernet sauvignon stained lips

Your face; to turn the corners of your mouth into numerous smiles

You can’t see this because you’re blinded by everyone you’ve ever wanted wanting something from you

You are my goal

My sunshine that illuminates the shadiest shadows

Decisions to make

Lessons to learn

This feels like suicide

& maybe it is

To effectively build something stronger you have to destroy everything that was in the way

Maybe I am making the choice to kill the parts of me that would bruise you

My ego

My pride

My fears

I want another season of love

A lifetime of waking you up with the smell of whatever your indecisive nose wants for breakfast

I want you

I want to kiss the creases of your lower back

Lick the worries of the day from the inside of your thighs

& hold you tightly until you exhale

I want us to argue

& agree to disagree over our differences but never let anything weaken our bond

I respect you

I will forever invest in your dreams & value your vulnerability

I have a crush on our potential

I’m smitten by our possibility

Everyday I literally trip on how happy we WILL be

There are motion pictures that play in my mind

Scenes of us getting caught up during a game of tickle torture

Images of rocking chairs, flashes of faith, screenshots of our success
I would rather live in your world, than be without you in mine

You are my goal.